ADCC: The Goblet of Eternity
by Spectra16
Summary: A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover Sequel! OMG! AFHPSOUE! Artemis discovers why his magic is stronger than most wizards! Draco makes an ass of himself! Dark Mark everyone! MEEP! Lemony gets fired! Again!
1. You Think You Have It Bad?

**A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover and the Goblet of Eternity**

Sequel to _A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover and the Prisoner of the Arctic Incident_, a Harry Potter/Artemis Fowl/Lemony Snicket crossover

By Spectra16 (Doesn't know what Prime Time is.) (Actually, she does. And you should too.)

A/N: Welcome back to the A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover series! Now with more Baud action! And VFD action! Hacha! THIS WILL BE BETTER THAN THE LAST ADCC! **Guaranteed! **Much more emotion, less carbon copy of the HP book! YES! I can't wait until the next book I'm doing! A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover and the Order of Deception! And after that, A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover and the Lost Half-blood, or the Half-blood Colony, or the Lost Prince (I don't like that one), or the Lost Half-blood Colony. Tell me which one you think is best. Or make one up.

Anyways, for those of you who do not know, this is the sequel to my first story "A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover and the Prisoner of the Arctic Incident". You might want to read that first, but you don't have to. After all, you're only missing the fact that Artemis arrives at Hogwarts, Butler is keeping a secret from him, Lemony Snicket works for the Daily Prophet, Mulch works for Voldemort, Artemis finds his real father (promptly after finding his fake father), and Harry's role as main character is drastically shifted. Interested now? No? Well, if you assumed as much, I did NOT just ruin my entire story. Yes, there's more. And it gets deeper in this story. I can't wait to see the looks on your review faces!

WARNING: Since Goblet of Fire was so largely based on the Triwizard Tournament (because Quadwizard Tournament sounds perfectly ridiculous) and Harry, I'm writing what happens behind the scenes with the Order, Voldemort, Olaf, and the strenuous story plot I had to recreate because Mulch bringing Artemis' memories back is going to take too long. My Sirius/Angeline mini story fried my brain at the last chapter because so much had to fit. I'm quasi-retarded now. (frown)

WARNING: I've just been informed that fan fiction dot net's new name is factory fudge nuts. PEACE. And Harry and the Potters is coming somewhere near you! (be it in your neighborhood or two states away. . .)

And without further ado. . .

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter One: You Think You Have It Bad? Try Being in a Lemony Snicket Novel.

_When's the last time I did a house call? It must've been years ago. I'd much rather be somewhere else, like the bank or the Orphan's home . . . Or my home. With my wife, Edgar, and Albert. Artemis is proving to be quite the challenging case though, and I do enjoy a challenge. I hope he will have changed from the time he transferred from St. Bartleby's. I wouldn't be here if his mother hadn't have called. Perhaps she would enroll him back into St. Bartleby's at my expense. _

Thoughts similar to these had crossed Mr. Po's mind in an instant as he walked up to the rather imposing manor. He'd raised his fist to knock when the door swung open with a rather strangely beaming Artemis. Butler was not behind him, like usual, glaring down. Dr. Po cleared his throat and coughed into a tiny white handkerchief he always carried around. As long as Artemis had known him, Dr. Po seemed to always have a cough.

"Hello, Mister Fowl," Dr. Po greeted gruffly, ignoring the fact that Artemis seemed to be in higher spirits. This could be a diversion from a deeper problem Artemis had. Artemis, instead of replying in a snide remark, and outreached his hand for Mr. Po to shake.

"Welcome to the Fowl Manor. If you don't mind, I'd prefer we sit outside in the gardens as we talk," Artemis led Mr. Po around his mansion and into a beautiful garden. The once wilted garden of Angeline Fowl was quickly replaced with hundreds of daffodils and other smaller species of flowers. The sun seemed to heat the countryside quite nicely. Artemis dressed for the warm occasion, but Mr. Po did not. He was still wearing a black suit, with a black top hat, and carried his belongings in a brief case. Artemis pulled out a patio chair for Mr. Po and sat beside him. Mr. Po cleared his throat as he sat down.

"I'm sure you know why I'm here. Your mother seems to be very concerned about you," Mr. Po started. Artemis nodded.

"She hasn't yet realized that boys will be boys," Artemis put it very lightly. Dr. Po smiled and pulled out his notebook.

"Well, instead of jumping into something completely different, I want to talk to you about the last time I saw you, which was quite some time ago," Dr. Po paused to cough.

"And that would be?" Artemis asked, forgetting the last time he had seen Mister . . . Doctor Po.

"The one we touched on with our last session. The one about respect?" Dr. Po eyed him. Artemis nodded. Now he remembered.

"Oh yes. That issue," Artemis smiled and looked out towards the expanse of the emerald land. Dr. Po steepled his fingers.

"Now, I want you to pretend I'm as smart as you are, and give me an honest answer," Dr. Po supposed and paused. Artemis smiled as he thought of Harry, Hermione, Ron, and his father, Sirius. How romantic it would be to see his father approach his broken hearted mother after 12 years of being away. Artemis breathed in the sweet smelling air. Harry had fought the most evil wizard in all time three times. Ron and Hermione had done their part to help Harry in this adventure. Artemis, himself, he figured out the mystery of Padfoot, Prongs, Moony, and Wormtail. And he had a hunch that, if given the right clues, he could locate Wormtail and his master, Lord Voldemort. Artemis smirked at the thought of this, chasing after an evil wizard. The thrill of being the one able to defeat him would be intoxicating. He looked back at Po, who was still eyeing Artemis.

"Well young man, have you found any one worthy of your respect?" He asked semi sarcastically. Artemis looked at him with honest eyes.

"Yes. I believe I have."

-.-.-.-.-.-

Wormtail paid a shuddered glance to Voldemort's face, or what there was left of it. He was afraid to suggest the next thing, but if Voldemort fell for it, inappropriate hazards could be evaded.

"It could be done without Harry Potter, My Lord," Peter spoke softly. Voldemort's tiny intake of voice made him seem rather vulnerable for the most powerful wizard in the world.

"Without Harry Potter?" Voldemort breathed again. "I see. . ."

"The boy is nothing to me, nothing at all! It is merely that if we were to use another witch or wizard, any wizard, this thing could be done so much more quickly!"

"I could use another wizard . . . Perhaps a stronger one," Voldemort spoke in a whisper. "That is true."

"My Lord, it makes sense," Wormtail's voice quickened, hoping this would convince Voldemort to let him go. "Laying hands on Harry Potter would be so difficult, he is so well protected. . . And Artemis! The boy that you were talking about before! He'd be so much easier to grab!"

"And so you volunteer to go and fetch me a substitute? I wonder . . . Perhaps the task of nursing me has become wearisome for you, Wormtail? Could this suggestion of abandoning the plan be nothing more than an attempt to desert me?" Voldemort seemed enraged, but his health prevented him from acting on his anger. But a stronger wizard, thought Voldemort. Perhaps, that boy . . . Harry's friend from Hogwarts could work. _No, he's for another purpose. We need Harry for this. _

-.-.-.-.-.-

Filaments of light seeped through the closed curtains in Artemis' room. He stood at his work desk, where his laptop was hooked up to a very strange looking piece of hardware. It was a tiny blue box with gold plated lining. Artemis had just finished uploading Gnomish into it. He couldn't help but smirk when he worked on the C Cube. It would be his greatest masterpiece when finished.

One floor below Artemis was Butler, lounging in an arm chair, watching a movie with the volume turned down low, and subtitles on. It was a Marylyn Monroe movie, but he didn't pay much heed to it. Butler's ears twitched, hearing something quite strange. It was the screech of a large bird outside, which wasn't common. Butler's curiosity (more like paranoia) got the better of him and he quickly walked down the staircase to the front door to see what it had been. Butler looked into the sky above him, cloudless. The blue was easy on the eyes and the sun was against his back. He walked farther from the door and looked back into the sun. He shielded his eyes from it and saw quite a strange sight. There seemed to be some sort of creature on the roof, and another figure. A glistened of glass reflected off of the figure. The creature squawked again. Butler's jaw dropped, wondering if he was seeing things.

The architecture of the manor was strange in certain ways. The part where the bird creature had perched was a low over hang, only two stories above the ground. The majority of the rest of the manor was at least four stories up. This fact was a considerably good, fortunate fact, because the man-like figure tripped and started rolling off. The bird creature squawked and hesitantly crawled with hooked claws down towards the man. Butler could barely see what was going on, due to the blinding light of the sun, but he knew that there was something rolling down the roof.

"Shit," Butler breathed. The glistening glass was a bottle that ran off of the slope of the roof and shattered on impact of the ground. The liquid was red and had an alcoholic stench. There was a man up there, and he had been drinking. Yet, he did not yell for help. He kept rolling until he came to the last of he roof and grabbed onto the edge with one hand. Realizing the danger, the man used his left hand to grab onto the edge as well. He let out a confused grunt and dangled from two stories up. The creature eased it's way to help the man dangling in the air, but the shingles of the roof started to break and come undone. The man tried to keep hold of the shingles but they fell off the roof, and the man strangely was able to keep hold.

"No, Buckbeak. Stop!" Sirius peered over the corner of the roof, trying to keep Buckbeak from allowing him to slip. This was the first time Butler had heard him speak at all. He contemplated asking who he was, but that would be put on hold. The man slipped and fell, his large jacket not acting as a parachute. Butler ran and tackled the man right out of the air. He landed with an "umph". The creature on the roof screeched angrily and the beating of wings could be heard. The shadow of a great creature with a long wing-span flew past Butler. The wind caused flutters Butler's designer jacket. He spun his head around to see what the creature was.

Butler pulled away from the grip on the unconscious man to see the animal landing behind him and scratching at the ground with its talons. Butler was no fool to the behavior of any animal, no matter how mystical or unimaginable. This creature was getting ready to attack, and Butler was almost ready.

The creature had a beak like a bird, and it's body was covered in feathers, yet, it walked on all fours. Butler stayed on the ground, wondering if he should stand up. His eyes were in a dead lock with the creature's. It screamed again.

The front doors to the Fowl manor flung open and banged against the wood, frightening the beast. Butler looked to see that it was Artemis.

Artemis looked at Butler, as if it was a dream. Butler was reared back on the ground, covering a long haired man. Artemis looked at Buckbeak, seeming to be in a daze.

"Artemis! Get back inside!" He yelled desperately. Artemis starred into Buckbeak's eyes. Artemis bowed, not looking away and Buckbeak bowed back. Butler was quite confused by this, but started to understand that this must've been part of his wizard training. And if so, who was this man? Unless. . .

"Buckbeak, come here. I've prepared a nice room for you," Artemis held out his hand. Buckbeak knew Artemis well enough to trust him, and he followed Artemis to the back of the manor.

"Butler, take that man inside!" Artemis yelled across the yard. Butler didn't ask any of the questions swimming in his mind and as he scooped the man up, something about his wrinkled, dirty face reminded him of an old friend.

-.-.-.-.-.-

"Is this all that you could find!" Voldemort hissed. His small form was ignored because of the things he had done in the past. Peter, Mulch, Bill, and Olaf watched him carefully, looking like a rather pitiful bunch. Peter shook with some undisclosed emotion.

"Master, you must understand, gold is not easy to come by," His voice trembled. Voldemort scoffed. Olaf eyed the small clump of gold that was laid before Voldemort. This was far more than he had ever imagined, and yet, it wasn't good enough for his master.

"You have ALL failed me! I highly doubt resourceful creatures as yourselves couldn't steal enough gold!" Voldemort spat. Mulch took a step forward.

"Permission to give it another try? I'm sure I could find a lot more, with more able workers," Mulch hinted that Olaf and Peter had been worthless. Voldemort knew Mulch's potential, and that Peter and Olaf were just getting in the way.

"Of course, Mulch. Olaf, Peter, I'll have other tasks for you. You will not be joining Mulch on this mission," Voldemort coughed. Peter bowed and groveled at Voldemort's feet.

"Please sir, we'll do anything!" Peter clapped his hands together. Voldemort wished Peter's loyalties lied where they should've been. Instead, Peter only obeyed Voldemort in fear. For now, Voldemort ignored it.

"How close are you to getting that fortune you keep talking about, Olaf?" Voldemort asked. Olaf coughed.

"Very close, master. Just give me a bit more time," Olaf believed what he said. Voldemort nodded. He then shot a look at Peter.

"I have another job for you."

-.-.-.-.-.-

Sirius opened the door to his manor, with a wide smile. His hair had been cut to his shoulders and his clothes were finally changed from the rags he was in when he was at Azkaban. His Armani suits were now too big for him, since he had lost too much weight during his stay at Azkaban. Sirius didn't hesitate to hug the man on his door step. Lupin squeezed him in return, and they both pulled away after a few moments.

"Remus, how did you find me?" Sirius asked, starry eyed. Remus smiled.

"Your son, Artemis, sent me an owl. He said I should stay with you for a while. To talk," Lupin smiled. Sirius led him inside his vast mansion. Butler took Lupin's suit case and coat. Lupin looked especially weary and sick. Sirius was the first to realize this, when Artemis hurried down the staircase.

"Professor Lupin!" Artemis smiled and walked to him. Sirius put his arm around Artemis. Remus shook his head.

"Not professor anymore, remember? Call me Remus," Lupin smiled. Artemis nodded. Artemis looked over at Butler, whom was standing there patiently.

"Please go get us some tea, Butler," Artemis asked politely. Butler nodded and headed for the kitchen. Lupin seemed to watch Butler as he left.

"Butler? I'm surprised he's still around, since you're not part of the Black family anymore," Lupin whispered to Sirius. Black nodded.

"12 years ago, his father swore to me that he was loyal to me alone. He didn't want any part of the Black family. 'Said his only concern was my immediate family. His son has been no different," Sirius whispered back. Lupin scratched his head. Artemis knew there was a full moon two days before. He still had his moon charts in his room and looked at them to see when Lupin would be sick. Lupin obviously looked shaken, even now. There were scratched all over his hands and face. Artemis chose to be polite about it.

"Since you're no longer a professor, who makes your Wolfsbane potion?" Artemis asked. Lupin sighed heavily.

"This month was the first time in years that I couldn't take any. I tried to find an apothecary, but I was too late," Remus said sadly. Sirius seemed shocked.

"You went through the full transformation?" He asked, stunned. Remus shook his head nervously.

"Do you know how to make it, Sirius? I can never do it. I brought the ingredients with me," Lupin pleaded. Sirius shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I've never attempted that potion. From what I hear, it's rather dangerous," Sirius' brow furrowed apologetically. Artemis looked up at Remus.

"I can make it," Artemis spoke up. "I have the recipe for Wolfsbane in one of my books." Remus smiled at him, appreciating the gesture, but still disbelieving.

"Don't you know the risks?" Lupin asked. Artemis nodded.

"Of course."

"Is that alright with you, Sirius?" Remus asked. Sirius nodded. Lupin seemed to realize something and he looked around.

"Where's Angeline?" Lupin asked. Sirius had a deep intake of breath, hearing the name of his wife.

"Artemis said she's off to some spa with Juliet. She'll be back within the week," Sirius replied. Lupin smiled dreamily.

"What a romantic scenario it will be when she returns. Her husband back after 12 years." Sirius shifted uncomfortably.

"For her, it's only been one year. It's been one year for 12 years," Sirius said, ashamed of himself. Lupin wasn't shocked by this. He put his hand on Sirius' shoulder.

"None of us blame you for that. It'd definitely ease her pain, and Artemis'," Lupin looked at Artemis. Artemis looked away quickly.

"I even put Butler under the spell. For him, it seemed like one year, but he knew differently," Sirius spoke as Butler walked into the room where Lupin, Black, and Fowl were sitting. Lupin swirled his tea around in the cup, starring deeply into the liquid. Remus had barely recognized Sirius when they met at the Shrieking Shack on that fateful night, under the full moon. Now, Sirius looked like he had fifteen years ago, but older. Remus figured he too looked older to Sirius. Lupin looked at Artemis, who seemed to be intently starring at the carpet.

"Do you mind if your father and I speak alone for a moment?" Lupin asked Artemis politely. Artemis tore himself from his trance and looked at Remus' eyes.

"Of course," Artemis replied curtly and left hastily. Sirius watched his thin son leave the room silently. Sirius knew very well that Lupin had something important to tell him, but Sirius wanted to talk about his son.

"I can't believe it. Snape told him that he was Artemis' father," Sirius spoke resentfully. Remus looked up at Sirius.

"What a ridiculous thing to say," Lupin replied shortly and sipped his tea carefully. Sirius bit his lip.

"Apparently, him and Angeline got together shortly after I was put in Azkaban," Sirius spoke quietly. Lupin spit out his tea and looked up at Sirius, shocked.

"What!" Lupin yelled. Sirius hid his shivering.

"We know for a fact that Artemis is my son. But Snape and my wife did have an affair shortly after I was sent to Azkaban. Angeline told me herself when she visited me there," Sirius exclaimed. Lupin looked quite devastated by this.

"Sirius, I'm so sorry," Lupin started. Sirius shook his head.

"She has suffered too much now. When she gets back, I'm going to tell her how much I love her and missed her," Sirius spoke softly. Remus set his cup down on the table.

"How is Artemis taking this?" Lupin asked.

"At first, I could tell he had a lot of family pride behind him, but now that he knows that we aren't really Fowls, he's been a bit reclusive," Sirius whispered.

"He's brilliant, Sirius," Remus replied quickly. Sirius nodded.

"I gathered as much when we met at the Shrieking Shack. How he found out about the Map and us is beyond me," Sirius exclaimed. Lupin nodded sullenly.

"Dumbledore speaks well of him, beyond the fact that he is a Slytherin," Lupin said cheerfully. Sirius scratched his chin.

"That's what puzzles me. I was a Gryffindor even though I was a Black. Angeline was a Slytherin of course. What is it about Artemis that makes him . . . Slytherin? He doesn't seem like the kind of boy that would . . . Be that way," Sirius seemed saddened by this. Lupin smiled at a past thought.

"Angeline, a Slytherin. She's was pretty rebellious, I guess. Not evil, per say. Just. . .," Lupin searched for the right word.

"Willing. Anything for love, she'd say," Sirius was reminded of the instance when he felt most in love with her, when they were robbing the vault for the gold. Sirius wore a faded smile. Everything would fall into place once she returned to the Fowl Manor.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Foaly clutched a round, blue object in his hand, quickly trotting to Root's office. Foaly scurried through room until he reached Root's desk, which was cluttered with near finished B'wa Kell court orders. The arrest and council orders were long and difficult, but Root had finished most of them only weeks prior. This mess hadn't been cleaned up quite yet. Root looked up at Foaly from a LEP squadron briefing document.

"Fowl finally finished the report on his trip to Hogwarts," Foaly held up the blue orb. Root blanched.

"It's about time. Lazy little mud whelp," Root threw the briefing one top of the other briefings. Foaly looked at the stack.

"I wouldn't call it lazy, Julius. It's about the width of two of your heads, in paper anyways. I'm fairly sure that we picked the right mudman to write the report," Foaly tossed it to Root, who caught it with one hand. Root puffed his fungus cigar.

"This document could be a bunch of syndicated troll piss that Fowl put together for our enjoyment. No matter how thorough it is, I'm hesitant to trust any of it," Root placed the small orb into a reading devise, and found the whole document to be in Gnomish. Root puffed again.

"Did you translate this Foaly? I've already got a headache," Root asked. Foaly shook his head.

"Nope. Our little Arty did that all on his own," Foaly hid a smirk. Root grimaced. _He's taunting us, I just know it._ Root continued to read the report, and Foaly left the office to give Root the ample time to read it.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Remus and Sirius were playing a heated game of Wizard Chess while they waited for Juliet and Angeline to finish up with cooking dinner. Butler sat at a distance and watched them mindlessly. Artemis strode into the room and stopped as he reached his father's side.

"Can I speak with you, sir?" Artemis asked, sounding rather depressed. Sirius looked up from his game.

"Of course you can," Sirius wondered why Artemis insisted on being so formal around him. Artemis sat down to the side of the table.

"Snape told me, back in Hogwarts, that the telekinetic ability is hereditary," Artemis sounded quite worried, but Remus was the only one who seemed to notice this. Sirius bit his lip.

"Not always," Sirius answered shortly. Artemis' look didn't relent.

"So you and mother are not telekinetic?" Artemis asked. Sirius shook his head.

"No. Why?" Sirius then realized what Artemis was getting at right as he spoke those words. "Oh."

"Yeah," Artemis understood that he understood. Sirius seemed surprised.

"Well, telekinesis is a powerful gift. Use it wisely," Sirius moved his queen. Remus eyed Artemis.

"That's how you knew about the Marauder's Map," Remus smiled. Artemis scratched his nose.

"Well, I had enough evidence to assume who made the Marauder's Map, but my telekinesis just proved my theories." Lupin smiled pleasantly, seeing the Sirius in Artemis. The deduction, the intelligence, the mischievous nature about him, it was all in Sirius. Lupin moved his king absentmindedly.

"No, no Remus. You can't move there. You'll check mate yourself," Sirius quietly interrupted. Artemis, subtly, was getting tired of the lack of attention his father was giving him. Of course, he could deal with the lack, but it was unnerving, considering that he had saved him (of course, with the help of Harry, Dumbledore and Hermione). Artemis clenched his jaw. Butler noticed this in Artemis. Artemis stood up silently and walked back out of the room. Sirius moved his queen again.

"Check."

-.-.-.-.-.-

Artemis had his suspicions of why he was telekinetic, even though it didn't run in his family. Sure, it could've been hereditary, somewhere far down the line of his ancestors somewhere but the problem with that was that since Artemis was born of two wizards, he was a squib. He used fairy magic to make himself magical. This troubled Artemis but brought him to one conclusion. Artemis wasn't just naturally good at magic, the fairy magic enhancer was more powerful than the magic he should know at his age. This explained the patronus he conjured just two months before.

At this, Artemis began to find way to duplicate the solution. It was not hard to find the answer using his fairy technology. The weaponry and helmets he had collected at their first encounter with fairies had proved quite useful. Artemis picked at the C Cube on his work table, the only thing lighting the room was a small workbench lap. A strong rap on the door broke the unbearable silence in his room.

"Yes?" Artemis asked, hoping that it was his father.

"Permission to enter, sir?" A deep voice spoke. Artemis grimaced.

"Come in, Butler," Artemis sounded considerably less enthusiastic. Butler gently opened the door, his eyes adjusting to the darkness surrounding Artemis Junior.

"Is something the matter, Butler?" Artemis asked. Butler shifted.

"Your father wants to know why we're going to London," Butler spoke softly, wondering if Artemis had given thought to this. Artemis set his metallic tool down and turned around to face Butler. He tapped his fingers down on the table, looking around.

"We're going to Diagon Alley for school supplies and a day on the town," Artemis replied shortly. Butler gave a small nod.

"Luckily, his criminal record will keep him from following us," Artemis paused. "Oh yes, we need to go to Gringotts tomorrow as well. The magic enhancers should be kept in high quantities there. Just in case. I wouldn't want mother or father to find them," Artemis muttered. Butler nodded and left the room quickly. Instead of going back to work on doing his fifth systems check, Artemis violently opened the curtains to reveal a dark night sky filled with tiny lights. There was a full moon tonight.

Artemis opened his window, and a warm breeze entered his stuffy room. Artemis left the window open while he went to grab Multice from his cage. Multice hooted curtly and spread his wings. Artemis sat him on the windowsill and handed him a small parchment with something quite important wrapped inside. The parchment read one name, Hermione Granger. Multice took the parchment and leapt out of the window hastily. Artemis watched his bird climb into the sky, hoping that this would reach its destination.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Sirius stood in the fire place of the Fowl manor with Remus Lupin. Angeline looked rather worried at the two of them. Juliet held her hand for comfort.

"Come back as soon as you can!" Angeline teared up. Sirius helped Remus stand on his feet. The previous night had proved to be quite treacherous, since the shelter gave through and Remus ran about the Fowl acres. Scratches and bruises were the least of his problem now. Remus had bit himself in the leg, and Sirius had quickly wrapped gauze around it to keep him from bleeding to death.

"Always," Sirius dropped the Floo powder down and they were gone in an instant.

"It'll be alright, Mrs. Fowl. Artemis will be home in a few hours. Everything will be alright," Juliet attempted to encourage Angeline, but she was already in hysterics. Something about her husband running around with a werewolf and her son getting involved with criminal activities kept her awake at night. Call it a sixth sense or the tiny bit of seer blood in her, but she also knew that neither of them would be returning any time soon.

Because of this, she decided to go after her husband.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter of the sequel! Trust me, it picks up after this. Someone requested more emotion to the story, and I'm certainly delivering! I like it better this way, rather than copying the story. It's more fun for me to make up my own back story. Anyhow, JK announced that she's killing off two more characters in the next (Final? Doubt it.) book. I bet it's going to be Voldemort and, strangely, Ron. I just have this weird feeling that Ron's going to die. Is that wrong? My friend says Harry's going to kill himself in order to kill Voldie. Her husband replied to that with, "Harry's going to die a martyr?" I thought it was funny. Who do you think is going to die and why? Love you guys!

A/N 2: Oops. I forgot something. I recently beta-ed a story (only the most recent chapter). Honestly, it's pretty awesome. It's called The Charity Case by shadowgirlVG. It's fun to read and almost slash. Meh.


	2. Almost Criminal At One Point

**A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover and the Goblet of Eternity**

Sequel to A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover and the Prisoner of the Arctic Incident

By Spectra16 (90 Writer, 10 Fruit Juice)

A/N: Wow. I'm only at the second chapter and I already have TWO plot twists coming up. I remember someone telling me they were shocked by the whole Snape/Artemis' father twist. If you see a flaw in the plot, lemme know. (I already know that I made Sirius seem kinda blonde at least once, and that I skipped the reunion of Angeline and Sirius, but I have a reason for that) I'll probably miss some valuable fact or something. I want my story to be as close to the real thing as possible. And please review! I ALWAYS appreciate some constructive criticism. Billy should know. Billy's a faithful reviewer. hugs faithful reviewers nwfairy is also very faithful. I love you nwfairy! And almostinsane. Thank you everyone!

If anyone wants to see a profile on me, I've got a xanga. H t t p / w w w . x a n g a . c o m / S p e c t r a 1 6. I have some live journal avatars I made on the site. Cool stuff. Leave me a comment or something! I have a deviant art too. My name is Spectra16 there too. I'm Spectra16 everywhere except 'put file'. I'm chemicalchemist there.

WARNING: An OC? Unheard of! But alas, I needed to add one in. And she will not be a Mary Sue. So bugger off if you think she is! She's a squib! There! And even though her meaning is very vague, you'll understand why she's in here eventually. She might not even show up 'til mid story.

CRAP! PLOT HOLE! I just realized this halfway through the chapter! I messed up really bad! Harry was one when Voldemort came and killed his parents! Because of this, that means that Sirius went to jail shortly afterwards. I said in the last story that Angeline told Sirius she was pregnant when he was freshly admitted to Azkaban. CRAP! That would mean Artemis would have to be at least one year younger than Harry, and that isn't true. I guess I could change it, but replacing chapter is a pain. Oh well. It's too far beyond the point of changing things.

Wanna read a FANTASTIC Artemis Senior story? It's from Senior's POV, it's fantastic! It's called His Son's Father by the White Lily. It's amazing! It's like Eoin Colfer wrote it! It's ingenious! And VERY well written. Please read it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Child ways they

Rip right through me.

Tears from eyes mourn

Cold and sad.

Pick me up now.

I need you so bad.

Your vows of silence fall all over.

The look in your eyes makes me crazy.

I feel the darkness break upon her.

I'll try to kiss you if you let me.

(You did this.)"

--Down by Blink 182

-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Two: Almost Criminal At One Point

Lemony looked over Rita's article, almost trying to hide a disgusted look on his face. Apparently, a few months prior, Lemony believed that she had burned his office down. The situation was investigated, and what really happened was far from Snicket's paranoid suspicions. What really happened was the man in the office next to him had left a chicken pot pie in his microwave too long, and it started on fire. Unfortunately, the man who caused the fire had minimal damage compared to Lemony's office. The one side of the wall from his office was gone, but Lemony's office was completely burned through. Lemony Snicket reasonably put his hostility for Skeeter away, but Rita couldn't help but attack Lemony whenever the moment presented itself.

"I don't like your lead," Lemony spoke quietly, a pen in one hand, her article in the other. She shifted in her seat uncomfortably and pushed her thin glasses up her nose.

"What's wrong with it?" She snapped. Lemony sat upright in his chair.

"It doesn't flow, it's not to the point. You don't have to change it though. I'm only the editor. You can put your _perfect_ name on the line if that's what you do for a quick solution," Lemony replied snidely. Rita crossed one leg over the other and rested her hands in her lap.

"Can you tell me what would be a better lead for _my_ article?" Rita scrunched her nose for a moment. Lemony didn't look at her.

"Anything but this. It's filled with horrendous clichés. I'm surprised your readers haven't been begging for new material. Oh- that's right. You don't have any readers," Lemony smirked. Rita snatched her paper from Lemony's light grasp.

"I'm sending this to print. As far as 'editor' goes, you're a waste of time," Rita said and slammed his brittle office door. Lemony leaned back in his chair, smiling. Luckily, he had aggravated her enough to get her to leave within 15 minutes.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Artemis woke up in his bed, sweating and parched. His head was pounding and his thoughts were jumbled. Artemis squinted at the light pouring into his room. The sun was up high enough to indicate that it was almost lunch. Artemis felt around his bed, realizing that his sheets were different. He was still in an Armani suit. _I must've been up late last night_. Artemis ruffled through his hair, closing his eyes, tired. He opened his eyes again, now adjusted to the light. He swung his legs around and stood up. Two steps forward brought him to the ground.

"Woah," Artemis spoke aloud to no one. He wobbly stood back up, finding it hard to walk. _I must be sick. I feel horrible._ Artemis rubbed his forehead and struggled to walk to the bathroom. He felt light, and almost happy that a new day had started. Everything seemed to be forgotten. Money, power, family, everything.

Artemis sat while the pure water ran into a basin. He looked at himself in the mirror and rubbed his eyes. They felt dry as well. _Dehydration . . . It must have been a REALLY late night._ Once the basin was half full, Artemis cupped a small bit of water and splash his face, breathing in. The water quickly soaked into his pores, making him feel clearer. In a fit of strange being, Artemis put his whole face under water and held himself there for a few moments. After a few moments, Artemis released the air in his lungs. The bubbles floated to the tips of his ears, and Artemis closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he pulled out of the water and breathed heavily. His eyes didn't feel dry any longer, but now he understood why. There, in the white basin, there were two contacts lenses floating in the water. Artemis' heart stopped. He scooped them out of the water with his palm and let the water seep from his fingers. His eyes did not deceive him. There were two strange looking lenses looking right back at him. He cradled them as he went to his work table to inspect them.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Angeline, Sirius, and Lupin magically appeared in the fire place that very day. Lupin looked much more put together. He limped a little, but was able to walk on his own. Sirius had a look of anger and haste in his eyes as he leapt up the stairs to Artemis' room. Angeline did not run after him, but instead, stayed back with Lupin.

"I wonder why Artemis didn't reply our owls. I hope he's alright," Angeline spoke quietly. Lupin sighed.

"I'm sure he's fine. Probably busy working," Sirius stopped. It was a strange thing, when Sirius found that his son was well . . . Not like normal boys his age. Sirius continued to run up the stairs to his son's room, jumping two stairs at a time. The railing rattled as he yanked on it to clear the stairs. The house had been so far from repair since he had been taken to Azkaban. Sirius ignored it. He knocked gently on his son's door, which was locked at the moment. Sirius knew Artemis didn't like it when he barged in, but it couldn't be helped. Sirius was obviously worried about him.

Artemis jerked up from the sink, looking up at himself in the mirror. _Mirrored . . ._ Artemis pulled a crimson towel from the brass bar it rested on. Artemis wiped his face and walked quickly to the door. Artemis assumed it was Butler, but when he grabbed hold on the knob, he could _feel_ his father. Artemis stopped and thought about this. He opened the door, and was astonished to find that he was correct. Sirius looked relieved, having heard footsteps from within his room.

"Artemis," Sirius grabbed his son and embraced him. Artemis seemed thoroughly confused. Everything in his head was a confusing cloud. Something had happened . . . What was it?

"I'm sorry it took us so long to come home. We tried owling you," Sirius pulled away. Artemis blinked at him.

"Where . . . Did you go?" Artemis asked.

"St. Mungo's. Lupin had an accident. I thought I told you," Sirius' brow furrowed. Artemis rubbed his forehead.

"I can't remember. I have a headache," Artemis closed his eyes. Senior nodded. Sirius ruffled Artemis' hair.

"That's alright. Come downstairs when you're ready. Your mother and I want to see you about your schedule for school," Sirius turned and hobbled back down the stairs. Artemis watched him with cold eyes. Artemis turned and saw Butler in the shadows of the hallway. Artemis jumped but tried to hide it.

"Yes, Butler?" Artemis asked. Butler's face did not soften. In fact he looked harsher than normal.

"Juliet and I would like to speak with you for a moment, if that's possible," Butler seemed almost spiteful. Artemis was no stranger to this tone and he nodded, wondering what was wrong. Artemis followed Butler to his quarters. There, Juliet was sitting with her arms crossed. The way she was dressed would never suggest she could kill someone. A bright pink t-shirt and ripped jeans were the fashion of some American girl, which Juliet preferred to imitate. Artemis looked blankly at them both.

"Artemis, we found these in our eyes," Butler held out his hand to reveal the same lenses. Artemis' eyes widened. _This is bad._ Artemis looked him in the eyes and swallowed hard.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Lucius' cold eyes pierced through his rather innocent, unadulterated son. Compared to himself, anyways. But, Draco was not looking back. The cool, night air blew into from Draco's open window. It forced Lucius to relax, worried that his son would wake up at any moment. This charm, that he was about to perform, was illegal but not unforgivable. In fact, the Ministry of Magic used it on private investigators of Death Eaters and such criminals. Lucius, for one, knew how to counter the spell. The "relecto confidelus" charm. Draco would have no adverse effects, nor any clue that this charm was being performed on him. His bond with his father would be the main reason why Lucius was putting this charm on him. The reason why he didn't need to use this charm on himself when speaking with his son.

Lucius pointed his wand at Draco's head. Draco stirred, but did not awake. The whole while, Lucius' breath was held. He thought the charm, and it was done. Lucius pulled away from leaning over his son. He felt a tad bit disgusted with himself, but he needed to know. . . For sure.

This charm, this "relecto confidelus" charm, was placed on Draco for one reason.

Information.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Harry barely had enough time to raise his fist to knock on the door, when it swung open to reveal his godfather. Sirius picked him up in a bear hug and put him down.

"I'm so glad you could make it, Harry! Come inside, quickly!" Sirius welcomed him. Harry, with a small trunk-full of clothes, stepped into the dark manor. Artemis stood at the top of the staircase, watching his father in the ecstatic nature he was showing. Harry studied the place carefully, just as Artemis studied him. A warm breeze came into the room after Harry.

Sirius snatched Harry's worn suitcase and marched quickly to the living room. Artemis slyly watched the two as they walked into the room. Artemis had arranged for the two to meet but neither of them seemed to welcome his company. Artemis strode back to his room and tapped on his mouse pad to awake the security system. Artemis tapped the keyboard with one hand and brought up the video and audio feed from the living room. Sirius and Harry sat together sipping tea that Butler had served them. Artemis got a whiff of the aconite in the horrid potion he had been brewing in the corner of his room. He winced and kept watching.

"How have your aunt and uncle been treating you this summer?" Sirius asked politely. Harry shrugged.

"Like usual, I suppose," Harry wasn't thrilled about his answer. Artemis leaned forward in his chair. Sirius patted Harry on the shoulder.

"You're always welcome here," Sirius announced. Harry nodded.

"In a few weeks, I'll be heading over to the Weasley's. We're going to the Quidditch World Cup," Harry spoke enthusiastically. Artemis' nose twitched. "Is it alright if Artemis comes with?"

"I'm sure he'd like that," Sirius was quick to change the subject.

"Your father would be proud of you, Harry. I want you to know that you can talk to me about your parents," Sirius blurted. Harry nodded and folded his hands. There was a short pause, but it was clear that Harry would speak first.

"What was my father like, Sirius?" Harry asked. Sirius looked up at Harry.

"He was the best man I'd ever known. We'd been friends a few years before Hogwarts. We'd met Lupin on the train," Sirius stopped. "We were like brothers. Maybe closer. We had an unbreakable bond. Even in death," Sirius drifted off. Harry sipped his tea. Artemis rested his chin on his palm.

"I wish I had known him," Harry felt uneasy now. He had never talked to anyone about his father. Sirius was quick to realize how this conversation was taking its toll on Harry.

"If there's anything you need, Harry, anything at all, please ask me. I owe you that," Sirius spoke humbly.

"It's not your fault that my parents are dead," Harry replied gravely. Sirius looked up.

"I wish that was true," He mumbled. Harry slammed his fist down onto the upholstery.

"No! No, that is where you are wrong! There is no way you could've known that Peter was the traitor! He was your friend, my father's friend since you were my age! I refuse to blame anyone for this besides myself!" Harry shouted now. Sirius stood up offensively, and Harry slowly rose to his feet.

"Please Harry, you don't understand," Sirius began. Harry threw himself into Sirius' arms. Sirius held him closely. Artemis bit his lip, watching this unfold. When was the last time his father had held him? Not that it was all that pertinent. . . But Artemis couldn't help but feel jealous all of a sudden. Jealousy was not something Artemis ever experienced until now, so he wasn't quite sure that's what it was. _Maybe I'm sick. Yeah, that's it. Sick._

Artemis was almost about to turn off his computer and leave Harry and his father to privacy, but then, while Harry and Sirius were embracing (almost father/son like), one thing ran through Sirius' mind.

_I love you, Harry._

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Multice had a ways to go. London to Dublin was no easy journey, but luckily, his endurance was far greater than his initial speed. And in a way, he had liked the journey. The beautiful green hills of Ireland truly would appeal to any creature. Multice rested on the back porch of the Fowl Manor, holding the note that Artemis had wrote to Hermione, the disk in the envelope, and a short, _concerned_ note from Hermione. Multice hooted and then flew to Artemis' window.

Artemis woke up from a trance, sitting at his work table. _There had been something I was working on, wasn't there?_ Tiny pecks at the glass forced him to break out of the thought and open the window. Multice flew in and perched on a chair. Artemis seemed confused but untied the parchment on his leg. Artemis found a note, written by himself.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I need your help desperately. Please send this disk back to be upon your reply. Do not attempt to look at the files, they are encrypted. I just want to say that I miss you, and that I hope you are well. Please help me, Hermione. _

_Cordially,_

_Artemis_

This was strange to Artemis. He did not remember writing such a note. Artemis threw the curious letter down and picked up the next, written by Hermione.

_Dear Artemis,_

_Please tell me what's going on! This is highly suspicious, and if you're up to something, I want to know! I'm giving you back this disk out of trust, but if you let me down, I will never trust you again! You're a very suspicious creature, Artemis. I demand an explanation as soon as possible._

_Sincerely,_

_Hermione Granger_

Artemis' eye brows furrowed as he read. Finally, he took the disk in hand and quickly put it into his laptop. The disk was full of images and video feed, some word documents. Only one caught his eye first. FIRST. Artemis clicked on it and it was a video feed . . . Of himself.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Artemis was skeptical of himself, but when he took Butler to Gringotts, the amount of gold in his account and strange potions, convinced him fully. Holly Short, Foaly, LEP, blue rinse, mirrored, EVERYTHING was there inside his head. Artemis stood in silence, along with Butler. Domovoi. The fairies had been easy susceptible when it came to foiling the mind wiping system. Luckily, Artemis was far too busy with these magical ventures to retaliate. He had not perceived that the LEP would actually wipe him and his accomplices.

Butler grabbed a crate of the toxin. They didn't need to take all of their stash, simply because Artemis could replicate it in preparation for Hogwarts. Artemis pried his eyes from the heap of gold in the vault.

Artemis glanced at his list of things to buy for his second year of Hogwarts, his fourth year. Artemis spotted Blaise Zambini at Romeo's Apothecary. He wasn't about to speak with him, since Blaise was Draco's friend. But Blaise didn't seem to think anything of it.

"Hey Artemis! How has your summer been so far?" Blaise stuffed several potions in a small bag. Artemis carelessly glanced at one of the bottles. A love potion. Artemis blanched.

"Nothing in particular. You?" Artemis had been practicing idle small talk, since it was a necessary part of intrigue. Blaise smiled.

"I'm going to the Quidditch World Cup with Draco and Pansy. I can't wait! It'll be my first World Cup. Viktor Krum will smash all those bloody Irish," Blaise stopped, realizing he was talking to Artemis. Artemis was busy reading a label on a flask on the shelf.

"Sorry. I forgot. But honestly, Ireland's Quidditch team got lucky this year. Honestly, the finals were rigged. The USA shouldn't have been anywhere near the semi finals. And Ireland beat them easily, anyone could. And then they were up against Argentina, and they got lucky winning against Japan. Unfortunately, Zimbabwe lost by ten points against Britain. Ten bloody points! They would've killed Ireland-" Artemis gently slammed the flask down and shot a despising look at Blaise. Blaise seemed shocked, but honestly knew he deserved it.

"I don't give a damn about Quidditch, honestly. And I especially don't care for my homeland's Quidditch team," Artemis picked up a bottle with lime green liquid from the dark wooden shelf. Blaise blanched.

"How's your girlfriend, Hermione?" Blaise asked. Artemis swallowed.

"She's not my girlfriend," Artemis replied coldly, still reading labels. This particular potion was to temporarily cure a head cold, useful during a test, or an exam, or an important job. The side effects were mild, including-

"My ass she's not your girlfriend! I saw her kiss you last year!" Blaise laughed. Artemis was starting to become annoyed. He'd never talked to Blaise much last year, but he remembered him being much quieter. Then again, in the company of Draco, no one really talked. Just listened emptily. Artemis set the potion down and started walking towards the door. Butler was waiting patiently for him outside, since the apothecary was owned by a very short warlock. Artemis heard Blaise's footsteps behind him and he quickly turned around.

"Bugger off," Artemis spoke in terms that Blaise would understand. Blaise, feeling that Artemis was acting rather rudely, did bugger off.

"Master Artemis, are you alright?" Butler asked right as Artemis stepped out of the opium scented store. Artemis nodded and continued to walk to the Sacred Feather, a darker bookstore than Florish and Blotts.

Artemis stepped in and immediately recognized the platinum blonde hair that peeked through a bookshelf. Artemis considered leaving, but if Draco caught him fleeing, he'd never let it down. Then again, maybe Draco wouldn't remember their feud. After all, he had been mind wiped. Maybe he could use Draco as an ally now, instead of an enemy. True, his ego would need some suppressing, but Draco could be helpful. If his father really was an ex-Death Eater (or still a Death Eater), maybe he could help him in the search for Voldemort and Peter. Butler followed at Artemis' heel closely. This place worried Butler, made him tense. There were things in this world that Butler didn't understand, things that could harm Artemis.

Draco turned his head right as Artemis walked down the isle. Draco's mouth curled into a daunting smile, not quite as intimidating as Artemis', but getting there. He was apparently there with his mother and father.

"Good evening, Malfoys," Artemis greeted and reached out to shake Draco's father's hand, but Lucius gave him a searching glance. Draco stepped around his father to shake Artemis' hand.

"Hello Artemis. Do you remember Artemis, father? I'm sure I've told you about him. He skipped first and second year and still managed to surpass the Ravenclaws," Draco's eyes were narrow, but he still smirked. Lucius nodded, not approving of him quite yet.

"Fowl, is it?" Lucius asked, hesitating to touch Artemis. Yet he shook his hand. Narcissa was still studying Artemis.

"Yes. I found out this year that I'm related to your family," Artemis gripped Lucius' hand tightly, not wanting his appearance to be forgotten. Lucius seemed vaguely interested. Draco, on the other hand, was curious.

"Really?" He asked. Artemis nodded slowly.

"My mother is your sister, Lucius Malfoy," Artemis crossed his arms. Lucius' eyes widened with shock. Draco's smile of shock was hard to tell if he was sincere or not.

"You're my bloody cousin!" Draco exclaimed. Artemis nodded. Lucius seemed livid now. Lucius had never let that day go, when Angeline ran off with Sirius Black, the embarrassment to the Black family, even if he did turn out to be under Voldemort's wing in the end. Narcissa really did look shocked, unlike her family, who were near devastated.

"You're my cousin's son! Sirius Black's son?" Narcissa asked. Artemis shock his head reluctantly. Before Artemis could answer, Lucius interrupted.

"So are you a pureblood?" He asked, suddenly interested in him. Artemis shook his head.

"No. My father is not Sirius Black. I'm the product of my mother's fling with Severus Snape. She did not hide this from me, at least," Artemis hated the words that left his mouth, but it was too dangerous to go around claiming Sirius Black was his father. Narcissa looked apologetic. Draco looked intrigued. Lucius looked disgusted, never having heard from Snape that he banged his sister. This would not go overlooked. Snape would be hearing from him very soon.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Harry held his bag and stood in the doorway. Bright sunlight surrounded him and filtered through the room. Angeline, Sirius, Lupin, and Artemis were parallel to him.

"Goodbye Harry. Take care," Sirius spoke sadly. Harry nodded solemnly. Harry looked from Sirius to Artemis.

"Ron and I will send you an owl when we're going to the World Cup. We'll give you directions to his house in London," Harry smiled innocently. Artemis had a sharp intake of breath.

"Alright. See you then," Artemis spoke quietly. Harry left with Butler. _Domovoi,_ Artemis thought.

_I shouldn't have let him go._

Artemis looked up at his father, thinking that Sirius had spoke these words, but in truth, Sirius was just thinking it. Artemis watched his father with searching eyes.

"Don't worry, sir. He'll be fine," Artemis looked away from Sirius. Angeline quirked an eyebrow at Artemis. Sirius wondered if he had just looked concerned, or if he had thought too loud.

"I hope so," Sirius seemed distant now. Remus grabbed his shoulder and squeezed.

"Harry's got the best sort of protection out there for him. The Order will take care of him now," Lupin remarked. Sirius seemed a little less worried now, but not as much as needed. Sirius sighed loudly.

"Once my name is cleared, I want to be as involved with the Order as possible," Sirius and Remus started walking away from Artemis and Angeline. Angeline went back into one of the kitchen's to finish preparing a soup with Juliet. Artemis followed his father and Remus, but stayed outside the door. Their voices were barely loud enough to hear.

"You are technically Artemis Fowl. We could alter your appearance! You live in Ireland! You don't have to hide anymore!" Remus protested.

"Artemis Fowl's life is completely different from mine! I've never had to really BE Artemis Fowl! He's a crime lord! A thief! I don't want to live like that! I want to live like me! I want my name cleared! After all these years of doing the right thing, I'm suffering for the wrong!" Sirius argued. Remus remained quiet. It was uncomfortable, as if Sirius was blaming Lupin.

"Do you want me to follow him?" Remus asked solemnly. Sirius waved his hands about.

"That would be advised! Honestly, Harry isn't safe. He's been attacked by Voldemort three times in his life. That should be obvious," Sirius spat. Lupin looked down. Sirius stood up to fix himself a vodka and Remus watched him carefully. Artemis stood outside of the door, wondering, hoping that his father wouldn't catch him spying on him and Lupin.

"Sirius, you seem on edge. What's the matter?" Remus asked quietly, barely audible enough for Artemis. Sirius took a swig.

"Please don't analyze me, Remus," Sirius replied quickly. Remus backed down. _Finally, _Remus thought, _we're together after all these years, and he doesn't want me to worry about him! My heart bled nearly every day for years after he supposedly killed James and Lily. I had to convince myself that he would've killed me if I had been the one in the way, instead of Peter. All of a sudden, all three of my best friends were dead or murderers. I don't think Sirius realizes how much I care about him now._

Artemis swallowed hard upon Lupin's short rant in his own head. Thoughts swirled in his head, it was incredible that Artemis could even read his mind as he was ranting. Artemis had done some reading about Occulency and the technicalities of telekinesis. Remus Lupin, being an auror, must've built up a small immunity to mind reading.

In truth, Lupin's mind was well guarded, which was why Snape couldn't have told whether he was telling the truth about the Marauder's Map and other various things. But Artemis' magic enhancers were slowly building up permanently in his system. Artemis had his suspicions, but the permanent effects were only beginning.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Lemony didn't feel at all comfortable with Rita standing next to him, her wearing bright red lipstick and a fake smile. He would never have come if Dumbledore hadn't have told him to keep a close eye on Rita. Lemony tapped his foot during Cornelius Fudge's short lecture about news coverage for the Quidditch World Cup. Mr. Snicket's journalism interest was not in sports, but perhaps something political, something interesting would happen at the match. It could only be fun, he reasoned. There would be plenty of important people there to interview. Apparently, the lot of the Ministry would be there. What Lemony wouldn't give to interview some of them about the Death Eater scandal. Although, the Daily Prophet would surely try to keep any such news away from the public. The Ministry was closely associated with the Prophet, unfortunately. Radical journalism was left for the Quibbler, albeit to the extreme. (I took a journalism class last year. I loved it. Ask me about ethics sometime. I'll talk your friggin' ear off.)

Rita shifted her weight in a slick green dress. Lemony tried not to wrinkle his nose at her. Frankly, the Daily Punctilio was far worse than the Daily Prophet, but not by much. After all the years Lemony had been gone, he surely hadn't missed much in the journalism aspect of it. Both the Prophet and the Punctilio had changed his words dramatically. Most of his respect was lost in the people. The wizarding world was very close to pushing him over the edge.

"Are there any questions?" Fudge finished. Lemony rose his hand only a bit. Fudge nodded at him.

"Is there any news of Sirius Black's whereabouts?" Lemony had heard no caution that Fudge gave. Black was at large, but for some reason, it seemed to be old news, and possibly stopped selling papers. Lemony, personally, was still in disbelief of the ridiculous claims that the Prophet had published in the past year. Ever since he escaped dementors the second time, the attention was weaned away from the Ministry and Sirius Black. Not only that, but there was no real investigation of Sirius Black, and thus, no current news of the "threat" he was inflicting.

"No. But the Quidditch World Cup will be well protected in every way, not just from wizard threats. We've gone to extra lengths to protect the stadium from muggles-"

Lemony wasn't interested in any of this. He bit his lip, wondering if Dumbledore would be angry if he decided to ruffle some feathers. Fudge went on, but Lemony's mind was somewhere else, working, hoping to interview someone more of interest than some cocky Quidditch player. Lemony hoped for some dangerous, something entertaining. It's what every journalist hopes for any situation.

-.-.-.-.-.-

"ARTEMIS!" Fred and George nearly pounced on the pale, wiry genius. Artemis was glad to be in the company of friends again, possibly glad to be away from his obsessive father. Pigwidgeon swooped down at Artemis' hair, trying to catch it in mid air, but failed and flew into the wall behind him. Artemis spun around, wondering what had gone through it's mind. Multice and Hedwig looked completely annoyed with Pig's antics.

"Hey, Artemis," Hermione smiled beautifully. Artemis smiled at her.

"Hello, Ms. Granger. And how has your summer been?" He asked politely. Ron bit his lip.

"Wonderful!" Hermione chirped. Artemis looked behind her to find Ron and Harry.

"Hello Ron. Harry," Artemis nodded. Fred ruffled Artemis' hair and put a flat hand out in front of Artemis' face, with a small piece of candy sitting there. Artemis quirked an eyebrow.

"Try some," George smiled but Artemis knew better. He playfully glared at the two of them.

"And why would I do that?" Artemis smirked. George and Fred knew it was in good fun, but Artemis' glare was a little too . . . Impish.

"It's good for you!" George snickered. Fred was also having trouble keeping a straight face.

"Forgive me if I say I don't trust you two," Artemis smiled. George and Fred gave up and stood up straight, next to each other, looking at Artemis.

"Yeah, Harry's cousin, Dud-face, whatever his name is," George started. Fred continued, "We gave him a piece of this and his tongue blew up like a balloon!"

"It was brilliant," George interjected. Fred nodded. Artemis stifled a chuckle. This was the first time he'd ever been in the Weasley's home before, and somehow, he enjoyed it, although it took adjusting to. Artemis smiled openly.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: GASP! I made a good choice! YES YES YES! I'm ecstatic, if you couldn't tell. The Lemony Snicket newsletter saved me once again! They sent out "13 Shocking Secrets You'll Wish You Never Knew About Lemony Snicket"! It told 13 (13 is a reoccurring number for the SOUE series) shocking secrets about Lemony, some of which I already knew. I'll write them all down here. The ones with a dash next to it is the ones I knew about. The ones with a ! are the ones that kicked me in the face.

1. **-** Lemony Snicket is not who you think he is. (Wow. Duh. They shouldn't just make assumptions that I don't know who he is. Because I might know who he really is.)

2. Lemony Snicket is one of the three siblings! AGH! DAMN! (The thing about this is that they didn't specify about which group of siblings. It's NOT the Bauds! He HAS to be a Quagmire. Definitely.

3. Lemony Snicket's niece is an orphan. (I have never heard this before. I mean, meh! Seriously, a niece that has importance to the story? Have we heard of her before? In any case, I didn't see this one coming, but I also doubt it's life changing.)

4. **-** Lemony Snicket is wanted for arson. (I already knew this. But Lemony denies that, not that he's telling the truth. Another secret will semi-explain this.)

5. Lemony Snicket grew up with a terrible villain. (This doesn't necessarily mean Count Olaf! Technically, the Bauds didn't GROW UP with Olaf either.)

6. **-** Lemony Snicket attended a boarding school. (Of course he did! He's in the VFD! All VFDers went to Prufrock Prep!)

7. **-** When Lemony Snicket was young, he was kidnapped by a secret organization. (No duh.)

8. **-** Lemony Snicket was fired from the Daily Punctilio. (Duh. HE HATES the Punctilio. Not only are they incompetent, they fired him for telling the truth.)  


9. Lemony Snicket helped Beatrice commit a serious crime before her death. (This makes sense. It would be arson, the one crime he denies. Her death is one reason to deny this fact. Can I get a "sugar bowl", anyone?")

10. Lemony Snicket was disguised as a bullfighter when he was captured. (Captured? Bullfighter? CAPTURED! This secret is one big question mark. I don't recall any of this from the Autobio. But maybe I could tie this fact into my story!)

11. **-** Lemony Snicket's work is filled with secret messages meant for his associates. (Duh. But because of this, there are more questions than answers. Unfortunate. I've gotten most of the messages. I'm not dumb.)

12. **-** Lemony Snicket has a tatoo of an eye on his ankle. (Wow, does Harper Collins books take me for an idiot? ALL VFDers HAVE A TATOO OF AN EYE ON THEIR ANKLE! Anyone wanna guess why? Well, if you've seen the actual tattoo, it LOOKS like an eye, but isn't all that anatomical, eye-wise. If you tilt it on it's side, the two eyebrows form a V, a side of the eyebrow and the wrinkle above the eye forms an F, and the eye itself is a D. Ingenious. Except not so much.)

13. The last clue is in code, of which I haven' broken yet (since they ask you to put together letters from clues in the text, and I can't because most of the questions are VERY vague ones. The clues that I do know are put together, and it forms a phrase that is literally unreadable. Meh.).


	3. Ireland vs Bulgaria vs

**A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover and the Goblet of Eternity**

Sequel to _A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover and the Prisoner of the Arctic Incident_, a Harry Potter/Artemis Fowl/Lemony Snicket crossover

By Spectra16 (Wants a rock version of Phantom of the Opera)

A/N: Cheers. I found a moldy thesaurus in the basement, so I'll be using new words in this chapter. I hope you guys like it so far. Tell me if it's nicht gut! I love my reviewers! Thanks everyone! I hope the 13 secrets helped. If you want to know all of the conspiracy theories for SOUE, please email me. I have a FANTASTIC link that will tell you everything you need to know ever! Except now it may be out of date now that we have the 13 Secrets. For instance, they thought Beatrice was the Bauds mom, but that wouldn't work any more, considering Lemony is a Quag.

Disclaimer: YES! I OWN HARRY POTTER, ARTEMIS FOWL, AND LEMONY SNICKET! MUHAHAHAH! MUHAHAHA! (Disclaimer nazis carry Spectra away) YOU CAN'T STOP ME! AHAHAHA!

Sirius: Spectra16 hopes you enjoy this story as much as she is writing it. In this chapter, you will witness the Quidditch World Cup (Go USA! JK!), Rita being a bitch, Artemis using Draco was his own purposes, and the DARK MARK! Yay! Also, this chapter starts out happy and fun but takes a turn for the worst (you guys know the story). You might dislike this chapter for this reason. Spectra does.

Hey Hey

By the Elms

Yeah, hey hey guys,

Hey hey guys,

What's the prize,

If we want it?

If we want it?

Yeah hey hey girls,

Hey hey girls,

What's the world,

What's the world

Got to offer?

Got to offer?

If you need it, I got it.

I found it. I bought it.

You can't ever take it or fake,

Hey hey hey.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Three: Ireland vs. Bulgaria (Vs. Journalism vs. Skeeter)

The port key had been something new and quite exciting for Artemis Fowl the Second. He wore an Ireland jacket, like one that could be seen at the muggle Olympics. Amos Diggory was with the Weasleys as well. Fred and George was dressed identically, Harry and Ron were equally as excited for the game. Artemis walked quietly next to Hermione. Cedric, Amos' son, remained quiet next to the Boy Who Lived. Artemis was captivated by Cedric. Something about his aura made him seem strange to Artemis. No one had ever struck him like this before. This was all too confusing. And strangely familiar.

Off in the distance was the faint sight of thousands of tiny tents near a forest. Artemis smiled, finding the spectacle quite enthralling. Later, the Diggory's left. Artemis could tell Harry was extremely annoyed by the fact that Amos was bragging about his son, Cedric, whom was humble and denying the entire time. The strangest part about this was that they had to get a camp site, of which was run by a Muggle. Artemis watched Mr. Weasley try to pay with his galleons, but Harry jumped in to save the day.

"Never been this crowded before. Hundreds of bookings in the last week. People from ALL over. Foreigners, and some not just foreigners! Weirdos, you know?" The man counted the change he was to give back. "I saw a bloke running about in a kilt and poncho."

"Shouldn't he?" Mr. Weasley asked confused. Artemis tried not to laugh.

The campsite was much stranger than Artemis had perceived. There were chimneys on some, weather vanes on others. Once the Weasley's had found their tent, courtesy of a family friend, it appeared rather small, definitely NOT enough room for Mr. And Mrs Weasley, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Artemis. Possibly just Ginny and Hermione, _maybe_. But just as he was thinking this, most of the Weasley siblings ran into the tent, each one of them fit. The only hesitant ones were Harry and Artemis. Harry looked back at Artemis and shrugged. He jumped in. Artemis followed him, finding that the tent was MUCH bigger on the inside, provided magic. Harry marveled at the sight.

"I love magic," He whispered. (Millions of fan girls, most of which have seen Potter Puppet Pals scream, "I LOVE YOU, HARRY!")

Artemis found his section of the tent was with Bill. Clothes, hygiene products, and his own sheets were there for him in a bundle. He had disliked camping to the extreme. Him and Butler had done it when they had a stake out at the oak tree, waiting for a fairy. His only motive then was gold. But surely, this was no ordinary camping trip now. This was hardly "roughing it".

On the way to the gift shop, Fred, George, Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Artemis passed by a cluster of completely green tents. Artemis smiled, very fond of his country. It didn't matter to him that everyone in this area was completely rowdy and loud. They had a perfectly decent reason to be. If Artemis didn't feel the need to keep his appearance about him, he'd be there with the normal, silly teenagers, screaming and cheering. He was a tad bit worried that the moment would catch up with him, and that he'd give into screaming and thoroughly enjoying himself.

"Krum," Ron whispered.

"What?" Artemis asked curiously.

"Viktor Krum, the Bulgarian seeker," Ron said, looking at a poster of him on the Bulgarian tents.

"He looks angry," Hermione spoke quietly. Fred and George joked.

"Krum mad! Krum smash!" Fred made his voice husky and scratchy. George pretended to be Krum as well. The two laughed, the rest of them felt a bit worried. Viktor Krum was quite scary looking.

Once the group arrived to the grounds, they found a large group of people. They entered the crowd, and found two men arguing, one of which was hard to miss. He was wearing a flowery gown. The whole group was intent on listening in.

"You can't wear that! There are Muggles around here, and they're getting suspicious," The official in the suit exclaimed. The elder man shook his finger at the man.

"I bought this at a Muggle shop! Muggles wear them!" He shouted. Artemis and Hermione stifled laughs.

"Muggle _women_ wear them! Not men! Men wear these," He tugged at his own cotton pants.

"I'm not putting them on! I like a healthy breeze around my privates, thanks," He replied. The whole group fell into stitches, laughing on the ground. Other people in the crowd grinned knowingly, and some were curious, not having heard this sort of thing before. Whilst Harry, Ron, and Hermione were busy talking together, Fred and George pulled Artemis aside. Artemis didn't bother questioning this, since Fred and George did it often.

"Artemis, how much did you bring?" George asked eagerly. Artemis' eye brows furrowed.

"Money? I brought fifty Galleons, just in case," Artemis smirked. Fred and George's eyes widened with excitement. Artemis could almost read their minds without trying.

"Wanna gamble it all away?" Fred asked enthusiastically. Artemis smirked. George broke in.

"We know how this game is going to end," George smiled as widely as Fred. Artemis quirked an eyebrow.

"And how do you know that?"

"Call it what you want, but it's psychic intuition," Fred said confidently. Artemis nodded.

"Sure. I'll throw in some money. But who do we bet against?" Artemis asked. Fred and George backed up.

"Dad's got a friend at the Ministry. Name's Ludo Bagman. He's been known to bet lots at these sorts of things. We heard dad complain about it," Fred spoke suavely.

"But our mum can't know. She wouldn't understand," George admitted. Artemis nodded.

"Alright."

-.-.-.-.-.-

Beams of red and green light moved in the air, piercing the darkness in a magnificent way. Fireworks popped and cracked in the air, tiny sparks falling to the ground delicately. Artemis starred into the sky, his pocket lightened considerably, since he'd give 40 galleons to Ludo Bagman. Fred and George were left with nothing, but as a courtesy, Artemis promised to repay them if their assumption of the outcome of the game was wrong. Artemis felt strangely confidant that they were right, but the looming doubt of losing money never settled with anyone, and especially not Artemis.

The stands were high and the wooden steps made the area creek, but the sounds were no match for the screaming and popping of fireworks, the screaming of fans. Ginny and Hermione ran excitedly for the stands, climbing up quite a ways. The Weasley's had seats near the front, of the highest area. A group of silly teenagers were singing a song in the Bulgarian native language (I feel like a loser for not knowing what it is. . . I hope it's not English. Then I would feel really stupid.). Lanterns crept towards the stands, just as they were.

When the group had finally gotten high enough to see the field, Artemis was awestruck. The field was beautiful and clean. There were no sign of the Quidditch players yet. Fireworks still hit the sky. Magical fireworks were much better than primitive Muggle fireworks. These works turned into moving animals, signs, and advertising. There were billboards for businesses everywhere. The place was crowded by tiny people. Looking across the stadium, people looked like tiny little ants, hurrying to their seats and running to look for friends and family.

They finally reached their box, and everyone sat down. Artemis would've preferred to look around yet, before the game was to begin. Harry and Ron played with their Omnioculars. Hermione and Ginny talked about silly things, and the Weasley parents talked with some other workers of the Ministry. Percy was at the mercy of Ludo Bagman, whom was introducing Harry to a Bulgarian man, who wasn't recognizable at the time. Artemis watched them all, and suddenly, he wondered what his family was doing.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Sirius breathed deeply. He had never liked the look of short hair, but it couldn't be helped. Remus also felt uncomfortable, being the one to do this. He'd never needed scissors before. There was such a thing as a separating charm in the magical world.

"Try to cut straight, at least," Sirius warned him, looking at Remus rather nervously in the mirror. Remus stood behind him, wondering where to cut first.

"Why don't you just ask Juliet to do this?" Remus asked desperately. Sirius grimaced.

"Haven't you noticed? She's not here. She's training somewhere. She left two days ago," Sirius wondered why Remus was this oblivious. Remus frowned.

"Sorry," he said, wondering why Sirius was so irritable. Sirius' long hair was wet. Remus ran his fingers in it, wondering where to begin. He snipped the end of it. Sirius watched his strange face change from wondering to confused to unhappy. Sirius rolled his eyes. He turned around and snatched the scissors from his friend's hand.

"I'll do it," he hissed. He cut off about five inches before panicking.

"WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING!" He screamed. Lupin laughed.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Harry, Ron and Hermione spun around at Fudge's words. Lucius, Draco, and Narcissa stood there, looking disgusted by the sight of every Weasley in existence. Artemis also turned around, face to face with Draco.

"Hello Mr. Fowl," Lucius greeted. Draco avoided eye contact with anyone except Harry, whom he glared at. But his mind was not on being angry at Harry at the moment. _Why is my father acting so friendly to a mud blood? Is it because Artemis is Snape's son? Is it because Angeline is his sister? _

"Hello, mister and misses Malfoy. Draco," Artemis said politely. Fred and George could tell that Artemis was a sellout immediately. They'd never seen him speak to them in this manner. Lucius swallowed hard, trying not to be rude with Fudge around.

"Will you be sitting with these. . . Weasleys for the game, because you are welcome to join us," Lucius offered. Narcissa still looked repulsed by the fact she was in the presence of the Weasleys. Artemis looked back at his friends, whom were completely sure that he'd stay with them. Artemis almost felt guilty.

"I'll be with you in a moment," Artemis nodded at the three of them and walked over to Harry, whispering something in his ear. Mr. Weasley and Mrs. Weasley looked appalled. Fudge introduced his Bulgarian friend, who turned out to be the Bulgarian Minister of Magic, to Lucius and his family. Lucius looked at Mr. Weasley coldly.

"Good lord Arthur, what did you have to sell to get seats in the Top Box? Surely your house wouldn't have fetched this much," Lucius spoke softly. Draco caught Artemis biting his lip in anger. It seemed as if everyone caught this remark except Fudge and the Bulgarian Minister. The tension in the box was so thick, it was probable that not even a hacksaw could've cut through it. When the Malfoys left, all eyes were on Artemis.

"How could you even fathom hanging around those slimy gits!" Ron shouted. Mrs. Weasley signaled him to lower his voice. Artemis inched closer to the three of them.

"I'm doing this for Harry's sake. There's more than enough reason to believe that the Malfoys are full of dark magic. They might be the only way to find out where Peter is. You need me to gain their trust," Artemis whispered. Ron and Hermione's expression changed. Artemis had already told Harry.

"Thank you Mr. And Mrs. Weasley. I'll meet you back here either when the game ends or before then. It all depends on the severity of Draco's haughty nature," Artemis smiled at them, and they starred at him still confused. Fred and George patted Artemis on the shoulders, smiling at him, thinking only of their bet.

"Enjoy the game Arty!" Fred waved as Artemis walked from their box to the Malfoys. This was either going to be very awkward or very informational. Artemis kept walking towards the Malfoy's box. People rushed by him, in a hurry to their seats. Mostly children ran past Artemis, occasionally brushing him violently. Artemis didn't mind it now, although maybe a year or two ago, he would've glared at them, and caused them to go screaming to their parents.

A man in a cream colored suit walked towards Artemis, but slowly, as if he didn't have somewhere to be. Artemis definitely recognized this man now. It was Lemony Snicket, the editor from the Daily Prophet. He had interviewed Harry, Hermione, and Ron about the ordeal last year with Sirius Black. Although, the article never made the news, at least Mr. Snicket sent his apologies by owl. Artemis smiled at Mr. Snicket, but Lemony didn't seem to notice him walk by. Artemis would've stopped him and talked, but he heard the voice of Ludo Bagman, which seemed to be on some sort of loud speaker.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome! Welcome to the finals of four hundred and twenty-second Quidditch World Cup!" Screams and clapping almost drown out what he was saying. Artemis walked into the Malfoy's box and sat next to Draco.

Draco smirked at Artemis for a bit.

"I'll bet the Weasle's were taken off guard when you said you'd come sit with us," Draco almost laughed. Artemis nodded. Narcissa clicked her tongue.

"How could you even stand their presence, Artemis?" She asked, as if she'd known Artemis all of her life, by the way her confidence was flaunted. Artemis smirked with Draco.

"I find it convenient to befriend even the most vile of creatures. I assure you my relationship with them is only to fulfill my hidden ulterior motives," Artemis spoke softly, and Narcissa smiled wickedly. Lucius, however, used his Occulency powers to try to see if Artemis was really telling the truth. But just as he tried, Artemis' mind was heavily blocked. Lucius panicked. _This is strange. How powerful could one person be in this sort of magic. Especially a teenager. _Confused thoughts clouded Lucius' mind, and Artemis would've caught it, if he had been paying attention.

Artemis watched the Bulgarian players circle the stadium on their Firebolts. A creature called Veela flew around the field as a mascot to the team. They danced around, almost hypnotically. Artemis found them to be beautiful, but something was wrong. Draco seemed to be under the same trance. Artemis didn't like this. Shakily, as if fighting against himself, he gingerly pulled mirrored sunglasses from his jacket pocket. As if his trance was broken, he suddenly felt better, and didn't feel the need to throw himself at these creatures. Draco would've asked about the sunglasses if he wasn't busy watching the Veelas.

At once, they left the stadium and the crowd erupted in angry roars. Artemis smirked, as if he knew that he might be the only one there that wasn't under their control. He pulled the sunglasses off and shoved them in his pocket. Then the Irish Team Mascots came out. Artemis leaned over to Draco.

"Who are you betting on, Bulgaria or Ireland?" He asked in a whisper. Draco shrugged.

"Personally, I want to the Bulgarians to win. But I won't be unhappy if they lose. Both of these teams are definitely worthy of the Quidditch cup," Draco didn't really seem to care. Artemis sat up straight in his chair, not knowing that Lucius was still watching him. The Irish team set out fireworks in the form of comets, which whizzed around the stadium. Leprechauns were also abundant. The greener area of the stadium, where the Weasley's were, exploded with excitement and anticipation. The Leprechauns threw gold into the stadium and people scrambled for it. A few pieces landed in the Malfoys box, but none of them hurried to get it. Draco smirked at Artemis, as if to dare him to reach down and grab it. Artemis ignored this threat, because he was thinking of something entirely different.

_Wait, what came first? Leprechauns or LEP recon? Holly said that mud men got the idea of Leprechauns because of the misconception of the spelling of LEP recon. It would be more logical that LEP recon got their name from the creatures. _

"Ivanova! Zograf! Levski! Volkov! Vulchanov! And Krum!" Ludo announced. Draco stood up and clapped.

"Hey Draco!" Pansy ran up behind Draco and hugged him. He spun around and smirked at Goyle, Crabbe, and Blaise, all of who came to see him.

"Fudge told us where your box was. Could we stay with you guys?" Pansy squeaked. Artemis had never really gotten to know her very well, but apparently, her parents and the Malfoys had already arranged their pureblood marriage. Draco did not look as thrilled to see her. Lucius turned to Goyle.

"What box are your parents in?" He asked. Goyle looked at Lucius, quite intimidated.

"32 B. Just down the way," Goyle replied. Lucius and Narcissa quickly walked out to go sit with them. The Slytherins settled in Draco's box.

"Draco, you barely sent me any owls! What's the deal?" Pansy clung unto Draco's arm. He almost seemed to sneer.

"I was busy," He hissed.

"CONOLLY, RYAN, TROY, MULLET, MORAN, QUIGLEY AND LYNCH!" Ludo spoke excitedly. Everyone in green screamed insanely. Artemis, Blaise and Pansy cheered and clapped.

"I LOVE YOU, TROY! WOOOO!" Pansy screamed and waved at him. The man known as Conolly didn't fly in formation with his team, and surely stayed away from the Bulgarians. He flew slowly over to Ludo and seemed to be telling him something. Artemis watched him curiously, but then he flew away into the center of the stadium. Artemis still kept an eye on him, as did others.

"What's Conolly doing?" Blaise asked. Conolly pulled out his own wand and put it to his throat.

"Hey everyone. How are you?" He said casually. Thousands of girls screamed, including Pansy, right in Artemis' ear. He winced and glared.

"Is everyone ready for the chant?" He asked. The stands erupted again. Conolly smiled.

"Okay. On three everyone. We wanna keep it simultaneous, 'cause that'd be cool," He smiled. More cheers. Artemis wondered what he was talking about.

"Okay everyone? Three, two, one," Conolly waved his finger down. At once, thousands of Ireland fans STOMPED, CLAP. STOMP STOMP. CLAP. This continued until it shook the stadium seats. _This must be another way to get their fans going at a game. Maybe they do this for every game,_ Artemis thought.

The stomps started slowly at first. STOMP . . CLAP. STOMP. STOMP. CLAP. But they quickened every revolution and finally got faster and faster when people started screaming and cheering again. The rest of the Irish team members riled up the crowd more by whizzing by closely to the people watching. When the stomps had died down, and screaming consumed the area, Conolly spoke again.

"We're about to win this one!" He shouted and stuffed his wand back in his pocket and joined his team members. People screamed louder, if possible, and the Bulgarian fans "booed" louder. The Quidditch players flew to their positions, ready to begin.

"Krum is going to kick all of their asses," Draco poked at Pansy. She laughed.

"Have you ever seen Lynch play! He's fucking brilliant!" Pansy pushed Draco lightly. Artemis already had a strange dislike for her. She was obnoxious and childish. Of course, he didn't expect real well behaved teenagers in Slytherin, but it would've been nice if she at least acted respectably.

The whistle blew. Every Quidditch player flew somewhere they needed to be. It was hard to keep track of everyone for the soul reason that they were everywhere. The names of the players seemed to dissipate as they were flying up against the other team members. Everything happened so fast. And then--

"TROY SCORES!" Ludo shouted. It seemed as if Ireland exploded in one mass of green. Artemis smiled and clapped, looking over at Draco with a taunting smile. Pansy screamed with Blaise. Crabbe and Goyle seemed to be teaming a fuming Draco. His sour mood wasn't helped by the fact that Ireland scored twice more afterwards.

"I bet my money that Ireland would win, but Krum would get the Snitch," Artemis told Pansy, still trying to get at Draco. Blaise broke in.

"How much did you bet?" He asked. Artemis, not forgetting their last encounter, sighed impatiently with Blaise.

"40 galleons," He watched Krum search around frantically for the Snitch.

"SHIT!" Pansy hissed. Artemis turned his head to the field.

"What?" He asked.

"Krum feinted Lynch. Looks like he's hurt. I can't believe he didn't realize Krum was doing that! Bastard! He's going to be out for sure," Pansy slammed her fists down on the wooden rail. Draco smirked.

"Looks like Ireland's got a bit of a problem. Their seeker is down," Draco winked at Artemis. Artemis put his nose in the air.

"My bet still stands," Artemis exclaimed. Pansy groaned, still highly disappointed. Blaise patted her shoulder. Lynch finally got to his feet and walked of the field. Everyone clapped, not only the Ireland fans. The whistle blew again, and Ireland seemed to come back with more heat and power. Artemis smirked at this. He was positive that they'd win.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Lemony Snicket had seen Artemis Fowl as he walked by, but had something much more important to do that chat idly with a boy he had met the last year. Although, he hoped him and his friends wouldn't get into any trouble. Anyhow, Lemony had seen a man who definitely wasn't supposed to be roaming the streets free. He hurried his steps to find Cornelius Fudge, figuring he should probably be the first person to know.

Fudge came out of someone's box with the Bulgaria's Minister. Fudge waved ecstatically at Lemony. The Bulgarian Minister smiled a little.

"Well, hello Mr. Snicket. I hope you're enjoying the festivities," Fudge's smile was friendly. Lemony did not return the favor. He looked at the Bulgaria Minster.

"I need to speak with you alone, Mr. Fudge," Lemony spoke lowly. Fudge's look was curious now.

"Don't worry about him. He can't understand anything I'm saying. What is it?" he asked. Lemony grimaced and gave in.

"I think I just saw Bagman," Lemony spoke darkly. Fudge's smile returned.

"You made me think there was something wrong! Of course he's here! He's the master of ceremonies!" Fudge spoke stupidly. Lemony closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

"No. Not Ludo. His son, Bill. I was in the stands just now, looking out at the forest with those little binocular things they sell at the stands," Lemony couldn't think of the name.

"Omnioculars?" Cornelius asked. Lemony nodded.

"Yes, I saw him. I know it. I've seen the pictures from the Death Eater trials. I've been planning a book about the lot of them, and I swear I saw him," Lemony spoke hastily.

"Well, we'd better investigate this before telling anyone. You know, just to be sure," Fudge whispered now. Lemony nodded. "Do you think we should get Ms. Skeeter?"

"No," Lemony said a little too quickly. "Um . . . No. Just you and I, Cornelius."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"LYNCH SAW THE SNITCH! There they go!" Pansy shouted. Artemis was getting really close to hexing her into not speaking for several weeks. Lynch had gotten back into the game, was not flying as fast as he could for the tiny golden snitch. Artemis inadvertently was getting very wrapped up in the emotions of the game. Krum was going to crash with Lynch again, but this time, it wasn't in a feint.

"Oh my God," Pansy breathed.

"No," Artemis whispered to himself. Lynch flew into the ground, his body like a limp rag doll, rolling on the ground. He came to a stop after the crowd had exploded in surprise. Krum caught the Snitch in the midst of the excitement, but then realized what he'd done. The Bulgarian fans stood up and jumped up and down, until the Ireland fans started laughing and screaming. The scoreboard read BULGARIA 160, IRELAND 170. Artemis fell to his knees and lifted his hands in the air.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD WE WON!" Blaise hugged Pansy and spun her around. Pansy jumped on Draco.

"YOU SUCK! WE WON!" She screamed. Artemis quickly stood up and brushed himself off.

"KRUM GETS THE SNITCH- BUT IRELAND WINS!" Bagman shouted, seeming as surprised as everyone else. Artemis smirked, remembering his bet.

"Why would he do something like that?" Draco spat.

"Whatever the reason, I'm going to collect my money. I'll see you at school, Draco, Pansy, Blaise, Crabbe, Goyle," Artemis waved.

"Bye Arty!" Pansy comically waved. Everyone else just nodded at him and said nothing. Artemis grimaced as he walked out of the door to the Weasley's box before they left. Artemis couldn't have felt more eager.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

George and Fred beamed as they counted their earnings. Artemis pocketed his galleons quickly. He found it good that Mr. Weasley didn't ask what Fred and George were going to use the money for. The man certainly knew what was best. Fred and George had already let Artemis know that they were using the money for experiments with their products that they hoped to sell to a magical joke shop.

"I hope Lynch is okay," Ginny yawned, laying her head on the table, looking at Hermione. Ron jolted up again.

"Oh Artemis, did you see his first hit? It was bloody buff! I couldn't imagine taking a hit like that!" Ron exclaimed, his burning excitement not been doused by the fact that it was three in the morning. Mr. Weasley and Mrs. Weasley looked completely tired, but were smiling softly that everyone was enjoying themselves.

"Yes, I saw that," Artemis replied, trying not to be snide. It wasn't as if Artemis wasn't paying attention to the game. Artemis sipped some tea that Hermione had made for the group. Harry smiled.

"I was shocked that Krum caught the Snitch. I'd have been so embarrassed if that was me," Harry grimaced. Fred and George simultaneously looked at each other.

"IRELAND WINS!" They yelled, and everyone laughed. They had been doing that all night, it was expected now. Mrs. Weasley stood up quite tired.

"Alright everyone. Time for bed," She said dreamily. No one objected to this, with the exception of Ron's grunt. Artemis tried not to shuffle his feet, but it was unavoidable. He had contemplated sneaking out to party with a random Irish supporter group, but he wanted to sleep. Maybe it was the excitement in his system, but he also felt sick, and strangely nervous.

Artemis crawled into the puffy blankets, not that they were needed for a warm night like this. He sighed and stared into the top of the tent for a moment. Bill tossed a bit more than Artemis would've desired.

Fireworks continued to crack in the sky, screaming and singing, crackling fire nearby. The moment seemed serene to Artemis. He'd never been involved in anything like this. He'd never been interested in sports, much less major events like the soccer world cup, before Quidditch. Now, it was like a party, but better than a party. Farther in the distance was a bagpipe-player. Artemis smiled a little and closed his eyes.

A few minutes went by, when everyone was already sleeping. A fire outside of the tent was flickering, snapping and cracking. Artemis was almost asleep when a louder crack from the fire startled him. His eyes fluttered open, and he looked up.

A dark silhouette of a caped person cast a shadow on the tent fabric. Artemis' nerves bunched up, and he shivered. And somehow, he could've sworn he heard a hissing. Artemis' hair prickled, but he reasoned with himself. _They must've gotten lost. Or . . ._ Artemis couldn't find a good reason.

"Artemis," A deep whisper filled his mind, the voice unrecognizable. Artemis, panicking, sat up and starred into the shadow. His eyes were wide now with fright.

"_Get up_," The whisper commanded. Artemis' mind tingled with obedience. A single moment before he was under it's control, he understood. _Mesmer,_ he barely had time to consider it. Artemis swayed, but threw off his blanket and stood.

"_Grab Harry's wand_," the voice spoke now, instead of whispered. Artemis, sullenly, took quiet steps, standing up straighter than normal, if possible. His bare feet walked on the Persian carpet that was laid down in the center of the tent. Artemis took in tiny breaths, his eyes glazed over. He spread the curtain apart to walk into Ron and Harry's room. Harry's cloak was cast onto the floor. Artemis searched his wand pocket, but there was nothing. As if he was another person, he smirked and quietly climbed the ladder on the bunk bed, and reached carelessly under Harry's pillow. Artemis grabbed it and yanked it out. Harry snorted in his sleep. Artemis glared at him and climbed down silently. Ron woke briefly from his sleep and saw Artemis walking out of their room, but he immediately feel asleep, thinking it was part of his dream.

Artemis walked out of the tent and to the shrouded man. He pulled his hood down, but even if Artemis was of the right mind, he wouldn't have recognized the man.

"Come with me," The man's voice was layered. Artemis never made eye contact, but he didn't need to. Artemis followed him away from the tents and into the forest. Artemis would've complained about the dirt and the rocks beneath his feet, but he couldn't. The night was slowly getting cold and clear. The stars weren't clouded by clouds. There was a clearing in the trees, where the man stopped. He whipped around to Artemis.

"We're ready, Lord," the man spoke to the air. The wind picked up, as if on cue, and ran though the trees, shaking the leaves silly. Artemis' hair fluttered into his hair, hitting his back. He still swayed, as if the person responsible for taking control of his body didn't feel the need to keep him steady. He starred into space, not thinking as he lifted Harry's wand into the sky. Without words, a green light flew into the sky and started forming in the sky. Artemis was too far into the mesmer to look at what he was doing. A skeleton appeared in a green mist. A moving, slithering snake appeared in the sky. Bill's eyes glistened with green, and a smile of anticipation spread on his face.

A scream from the tents pierced through the quiet. Bill's head whipped to where it came from. It was a woman, but she hadn't seen them. Lucky, he thought.

"_Go back to your tent!_" The voice commanded. Artemis ran through the brush and the tree branches. Bill lifted his hood to hide his face and he ran off as well, hearing different commands in his head. Artemis' breath wasn't steady anymore. He ran through the Weasley's tent and quietly dived into his bed. The dew on his body quickly soaked into the sheets. Artemis was immediately released from his mind control when Voldemort had ordered him to sleep. Mr. Weasley, started to by Artemis running in, walked outside at the sound of screams. It was mostly women and girls screaming. The pattering of foot steps on the ground outside were abundant. Mr. Weasley hadn't seen or heard Artemis come in, but the movement of the air had shocked him.

He peered down the line of tents. The faint smell of smoke lingered in the air. More screams. Mr. Weasley tried to hear what people were screaming from a hundred yards away. One thing stuck immediately.

"It's the Dark Mark!" A woman screamed. Mr. Weasley's heart dropped into his stomach. He ran out of the tent and looked into the sky. A green skeleton peered down at the camp sights. He shivered and ran into the tent to wake everyone.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Lucius could hear his Lord's weak, cracking voice in his mind.

"_Good, Lucius. The Mark is the sign. Set the place on fire_," Voldemort, if he had the strength, would've laughed maliciously, knowing that it scared Lucius.

Lucius put on a dark cloak and drew the hood over his head. He stepped out of the tent, hoping that Narcissa and Draco were still asleep.

This was not so. Draco peeked through his tent using a revealing charm, watching his father go back to his old ways. If he was caught, which was very likely, his family would, undoubtedly, be put to more shame. Draco furrowed his eyebrows and ran outside when his father had left. Draco watched his father meet up with who looked like Avery, but without a face, he wasn't sure. Draco ran the opposite direction to look for Artemis. If push came to shove, he wouldn't want to be to blame for the construction of the Dark Mark. He had to find an alibi.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Artemis woke up confused. He was cold and wet, and he had mud on his feet. Not only that, but Mr. Weasley was in panic as he woke up his children, and Hermione and Harry. Everyone was still in their pajamas. Once everyone was out of the tent, they immediately saw the Dark Mark in the sky.

"Oh my God!" Ginny screamed. Artemis shivered. He'd seen that somewhere before, but he couldn't place where. In the distance, tents were on fire. Coming towards them was a group of hanging figures with black cloaks. They attacked people in their way of destroying the tents. Some wizards rose up against them but they all were shot down immediately. Mr. And Mrs. Weasley took off with Bill and Charlie to help the officials with the Ministry. Fred grabbed Ginny and pulled her into the woods, whilst everyone else followed. The darkness returned as the Dark Mark lessened it's glow in the heavy shrouded area, where the thickness of the leaves shielded most light, even during the day.

Ron tripped, but quickly got up. Hermione lit her wand, and only a few yards away, Draco leaned up against the tree, hiding his pounding heart.

"Hadn't you better be hurrying along now? You wouldn't want her spotted, would you?" Draco nodded his head at Hermione. Artemis resisted glaring at Draco. A blast of green lit the sky and then darkened the area.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione retorted. Draco smirked.

"They're after muggles and Mudbloods," Draco spat. Ron's temper flared.

"You watch your mouth!" he yelled. Draco arrogantly stood up straight. The sight of his father running back to Voldemort still replayed in his mind, even though his mind should've been in a conversation.

"Where're your parents? Out there wearing masks, I suppose?" Harry yelled. Artemis shivered again. A voice was in his mind, whispering something barely inaudible.

"_Drop Harry's wand_," The voice commanded. Artemis dropped the wand behind him and snapped back to reality. The only one who noticed was Draco, who said nothing. Hermione's wand let go of it's own light. The area was dark for a moment.

"Lumos!" She whispered. Draco looked over to the ground behind Artemis, and the wand was gone. Draco smirked again.

"Well. . .," Draco knew this had to be more than a coincidence," If they were, it wouldn't be very logical to tell you."

"Oh come on. Let's go find the others," Hermione ripped away from the group, and everyone followed behind her. Fred and George smiled evilly at each other and then simultaneously flicked Draco off. Artemis was the last to leave the area where they'd come into contact with Draco. Draco nodded his head.

"I'll see you later," Draco spoke diabolically. Artemis, still confused about everything said nothing and tried to catch up to his friends.

-.-.-.-.-

Artemis struggled to keep up with the group as they headed back to the Weasley's tent. Everyone's adrenaline was so high, they wouldn't have realized if Artemis had fallen or gotten lost, anything. He suddenly felt very vulnerable to himself. Weird things were happening. Maybe it was a time lapse, or some mesmer on the People's part. But wouldn't he not remember them again? Artemis kept up with their quick pace by jogging.

The wind changed. Artemis shivered and looked behind to see several wizards running towards them. They weren't wearing the capes like the Death Eaters. They shot at the group of young wizards and Hermione retaliated.

"STUPEFY!" She screamed and nearly hit one of them. Harry noticed Mr. Weasley in the group, and he jumped in front of the storming wizards.

"WAIT! That's my son!" He exclaimed. Everyone breathed a sigh in relief. The wizards' pace would've slowed, but Mr. Crouch didn't slow down. His stern face was an immediate sign that he suspected one of them. Artemis prayed that his memory lapse had nothing to do with this.

"Out of the way, Mr. Weasley," Crouch was outraged. "Which one of you did it? Who conjured the Dark Mark!" He was red and near screaming. Ron resisted flinching as the man towered over him. Harry's face melted.

"We didn't do THAT!" Harry pointed into the sky. Everyone was equally shocked that Crouch believed they could do such a thing.

"We didn't! What did you attack us for?" Ron asked blatantly. Crouch seemed to ignore all of their questions and ask some of his own. Questions led to misguiding answers, which led to a spot in the forest when Winky was found with Harry's wand. Something about the moment was surreal and somewhat familiar to Artemis. He'd taught himself to trust instincts, because instincts were just lessons previously learned but forgotten in the recesses that is the complex human mind.

Ludo Bagman and Lemony Snicket apparated onto the scene, with rushed looks. Artemis looked over at Mr. Snicket and smiled at him in a friendly way. Lemony tipped his hat to Artemis, but obviously didn't have time to talk to the students he had interviewed the year before. Ludo and Lemony rushed over to Winky and began grilling her with questions.

"Where did you get that wand?"

"Who does it belong to?"

"Do you remember anything?"

"Where were you when you first saw the Dark Mark?"

"Who is your master?"

"Why were you wandering off on your own?"

"STOP IT!" Hermione ran in front of a cowering Winky, whom was completely petrified at what they said she had done. Lemony stood up straight and sighed.

"Miss, please, we need to ask her these questions while the answers are still fresh in her mind," Lemony reasoned, although, having no experience with house elves.

"She can't! Only her master can allow her to answer these questions!" Hermione appeared quite outraged. Ron grabbed Hermione's arm.

"Calm down, Hermione. They need this for the investigation," Ron pulled her away, but she yanked her arm from him.

"THIS IS UNFAIR! You know she can't answer them!"

Artemis' ears were ringing. Something was wrong. The deep recesses of his mind were fighting against him, although, he didn't understand why. He could see himself. He was standing there, the way he was standing now. Except, he looked tired or lost. Artemis could see himself in his mind.

The boy raised a wand to the sky and the green mist that still lingered in the sky rose up to the clouds. Artemis' heart dropped. The air was cool and clean, trees surrounded the area. Artemis couldn't remember this, but he could feel the memory from someone else. Something was wrong. He felt older, more sinister. Not confused. Artemis broke from the vision in his mind and looked at Ludo.

_That's my father._

Artemis closed his eyes again to focus on the memory. It felt like someone was giving him the memory, albeit involuntarily. Artemis curiosity drove the vision into his mind. Artemis opened his eyes, trying not to think like the person whose eyes were almost his own. Once the strange thoughts had left his head, he opened his eyes again. The sight was one that he barely wanted to believe.

His breath froze in the air with each passing. He shifted his weight, and the snow below him crunched. The sky was gray dull, and he was so cold. Finally, the burn of the snow below him hurt enough to force him to hop around, since he wore no shoes.

"Hello?" He whispered shivering. His nose froze immediately, and his mind was dizzy with strange thoughts. His hair stood on end. Indeed, this was no memory. Artemis spun around, trying to understand where he was. Russia, was his first thought. Then the Arctic. Antarctica? Canada? Greenland? He was near a lake, or an ocean. At first, he didn't recognize the place. But then, as if from a faint dream, he knew this place. _The Bay of Kola. _There were warehouses about, and two men who went out for a late night smoke, were asking themselves who it was, pointed at Artemis. His mouth went dry with the frozen air. He blinked, and immediately, the cold disappeared. He was somewhere hot. Artemis was almost afraid to open his eyes, but as soon as his goosebumps went away, he had to.

He was sitting on a bench on an empty, dark street of Paris. The sweet smell of perfume and cobblestone was much less harsh on the senses. There was an occasional couple walking by, wondering why a boy was sitting on a bench so late at night. Artemis looked around in the darkness. Artemis was horridly confused about the situation and what to do about it. _If only I'd taught myself to apparate this summer. Unfortunately, I was too busy exploiting the People and threatening their secrets for gold. I can't believe myself. Oh, what will the People do when they find out I can remember them?_

Artemis random burst of currently irrelevant thoughts were broken into by another change in the setting. Again, he had blinked again and he hadn't thought to keep his eyes closed. It was Ho Chi Mihn City, Artemis had seen it once before. In fact, he was on the very alley where he'd met the sprite. The smell of incense lingered on the fabrics and tents on the alley. Tiny fires were still going even considering the time of night. Whispers in the tents were eerily familiar to Artemis' tweaked head. Artemis breathed in deeply and felt tense. He closed his eyes, wishing he wasn't here again, but nothing changed this time. Artemis looked directly forward, down the narrow alley of palm readers, imitation shamans, hemp venders, and risky apothecaries. There was a figure standing there, parallel to Artemis.

It was a man with a black cloak on, and his face was hidden in the shadows. Instincts told Artemis to run, but his curiosity was much stronger. Artemis made sure his wand was still in his striped pajama pants. Luckily, he wasn't too disoriented by questions to take it with him at the scene of panic. Just as he thought to double check, a voice spoke in his head.

_"You cannot attack someone who is not there,"_ the voice spoke. Artemis looked up at the character down the way. Artemis knew not to question people when he felt afraid, or assumed they were trying to make him afraid.

"It's only for defense," Artemis walked towards the being, on the way, calculating everything that could go wrong, and everything that could aid his escape. His stride was quite boisterous with no signs of humility. The shrouded man smirked but remained where he stood. Once Artemis was only ten feet away, some of the apothecaries had poked their heads out of the tent, upon hearing him speak. They wondered what this boy was doing by himself in the middle of the street. Perhaps one of the exorcists on the caravan that never moved had forgotten to sedate his sleep.

The figure tilted his head at the rather courageous boy.

_"I can feel you fear, Artemis. Only pitiful human beings are so easily lied to. By the looks of it, you've hide enough practice with them," _the deep voice spoke. Artemis recognized the voice, but he couldn't remember where.

"You underestimate me . . . Voldemort," Artemis smirked, knowing that this was an image of what Voldemort hoped he'd be reborn as, tall, handsome, in control again. The figure would have no face, even if Artemis unmasked him. Voldemort, physically no where near Artemis, was impressed.

_"You're full of power, Artemis. Your reputation is nothing compared to who you really are," _Voldemort knew Artemis was all business now. And he was also unsure if his disguise was allowing him to use his powers to his full potential. And maybe it was just the state he was in. But his Occulency was not working well on Artemis. Lucius, Bill, Peter, everyone he'd used since that fateful day had a weak mind. And here was his newest hopeful for his team. Maybe Artemis was just that powerful. Or maybe he was just that weak.

"I'm sure you have some other business with me besides flattery," Artemis crossed his arms. Voldemort's decoy swayed.

_"Keep me in mind, Fowl."_

Artemis woke up on the wet ground, looking up at darkened trees and the faces of his friends, wearing concerned looks. Hermione brought her hand against Artemis' cheek. She immediately realized he was awake.

"Artemis! Are you alright!" She helped Artemis sit up. He breathed a few times, hoping it was over.

"Yeah. I'm fine," He looked around. Ludo Bagman was no longer yelling at anyone, but instead, looked mortally worried for Artemis. Artemis shook the scrambling thoughts from his head.

"Did I pass out?" He asked, shocked by all of this. Ludo nodded. After the debate about how Winky could've miraculously found Harry's wand that had been used to conjure the Dark Mark, the group left the forest, tired more than before. The Weasleys, Harry, Hermione, and Artemis were the first to walk back. Crouch and Bagman started walking. But Lemony was eyeing each of them, wondering if it had been someone closer to home. Fudge patted Mr. Snicket on the back. He smiled, mildly entertained.

"Welcome back to the real wizarding world," He joked. Lemony swallowed a smirk of excitement and followed him back.


End file.
